We are one and done. Yes, I said it. Bring on the naysayers! If I had a quarter for every time someone asked when I will be having another child, I would be rich. With that being said, I understand the advice and the perception that comes along with only having one child, but seriously it wasn't a decision made during a drunken stupor.
My husband and I put a lot of thought and time into our decision, and it is what is right for us. We did not think "it is just easier with only one." There is so much more involved, and I find it astounding how people make so many assumptions when it comes to this decision.
How about these considerations...maybe she can't have another baby or maybe they have a good reason (i.e. miscarriages, tough time getting pregnant, age, health, etc.) or maybe it is merely the best choice for them.
Why is that people only think about the child. She needs a companion, she needs someone to play with, she will be lonely, and so on. What about the parents? Are we not the ones raising the child(ren)? Are we not also affected? Believe me, we have taken our daughter into consideration, but it is not only her involved in the dynamic. I want her to be raised in a happy fulfilled loving family.
For me, the decision to have or not have another child was not based solely on giving my child a companion. To me, that sounds insane. I want to be a conscious parent and try to make the best decisions for my family. Having children is a big responsibility. It is a little human who will eventually be an adult giving back to the world. I don't know about you, but that is big time in my book.
Even after making our decision, my husband and I are still affected when we hear pregnancy or birth announcements from our close friends and family. I will not deny there are times we have to reconvene on the subject, but all-in-all, we always come back to our decision of being one and done. We are not immune to the what-ifs, but we cannot live our life with the what if a surprise baby comes or what if we change our minds.
Right now, this is our decision and we are standing by it. I do not think choosing to only have one child makes us selfish or less parents than the next. I think there is something to be said of adults making adult decisions and standing by them, and being okay with the what-ifs that may come along the way. After all, that is what being a parent is all about.