Mindful Monday: Adult Children & Our Parents

Monday, March 30, 2015

As a wife and mother in my mid-thirties, my relationship with my parents has evolved into an even deeper love and respect.  I no longer only see them as "mom and dad," now I see them as people too. I can imagine them as young parents and understand them so much more. 

I have always had a great relationship with my parents. Yes, we have had a few run ins during my teenage years and a few more in my 20's, but nothing major. Even so, there were still plenty of times when I questioned their actions and decisions. 

Now as the tables have turned, I understand it takes work to have a great marriage and being a parent is hard. Like the saying goes, parenting is the easiest thing to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing to do. 

I am so grateful to have my parents in my life.  We get to hang out as couples, which is wonderful because they love my husband like a son, and I get to experience their unconditional love as grandparents to my daughter and my nephews. 

Of course, we are not perfect.  There are still moments when I feel misunderstood, or I put my foot in my mouth. I certainly acknowledge that for them being parents of adult children with spouses who now have their own children is a whole new balancing act. Being a parent never ends, our relationships just evolve. 

Here are some tips to help maintain a great relationship with your parents once the tables have turned:

Distance does make the heart grow fonder, but not too far - It is important to set boundaries and have your own life. This is especially important if you are married. Your life's focus should now be your spouse and kids.  Remember, they also need their freedom, but also still like to feel needed. In my case, I live 7 hours away, and this helps. I do miss them tremendously, but I am not dependent on them. I love that my husband and I have made a life for ourselves, and this has made our marriage stronger. 

Do not ask for advice, if you don't really want it - Just because they are your parents does not mean they are going to be in the same school of thought as you.  Therefore, if it is something you know you should figure out on your own, or you already made up your mind, then don't ask. 

Call them just because, not because you need something - By this, I mean, actually pick of the phone and have a good conversation with them. Set aside a good time and be present when you speak with them. 

Remember they already raised you, and it is not their job to raise your children - If you constantly depend on them to help with the kids, believe me, they will have a say as to how you are raising them because they will feel entitled. Parents of adult children usually mean no harm in this, but it can cause havoc. So if you are not willing to hand over parental control, then let them be the doting grandparents without having the responsibility of helping you raise your children. 

Tell them how much you love them & show them appreciation - Every single time I speak to my parents I tell them I love them. Even if its a random call about how to make posole, I still say I love you! Life is way too short. 

Check out Angelo Merendino's "Goodbye at the Door" series.  He took photographs of his goodbyes every time he left his parents house. It is endearing and will definitely make you think of Mom and Dad.

Friday Favorites

Friday, March 27, 2015

This week was pretty uneventful, but I will share I am proud of myself for sticking to my workout routine. I kinda love working out! Shhhhh don't tell

As for the weekend, I am attending an event at West Elm on Saturday which should be fun. We have tons to do around the house, but I can't promise it will get done. Instead, maybe a little fun in the sun with our Luna. 

Now here are my Friday Favorites:

Favorite Skirt: Forever 21 Stripe Skirt which I have been wearing casually and dressed up. I believe mine is sold out, but this one is great too. I feel like these skirts are the perfect mommy skirts because they are stylish and have pockets! O hail the pockets! 

Favorite quote: I will never be a morning person for the moon and I, are too much in love.-Christopher Poindexter. Well said. I am a night person and madly in love with my little moon girl. 

Favorite Matchy-Matchy: Saltwater Sandals are on my shopping list for Luna and I because really...I can't help it! 

Favorite Purse Scent: Elizabeth and James rollerball set. I think I am a late to jump on this bandwagon, but I am glad I did. They smell great, they are the perfect size, and you can mix them together for some scent layering. 

Favorite Party food to try: Antipasto Salad Kabobs. These look so delicious! I know my husband would be all over these, and they would be great for parties. 

Have a wonderful weekend! Now let's go on a Sweet Escape a la Gwen style (I will never stop being a So Cal girl).

Mindful Monday: 3-day Rule

Monday, March 23, 2015

For those of you who are not workout warriors, I want to share what is working for me. I used to be an all or nothing person when it came to working out. If I missed a day, then I would get down on myself, miss the rest of the week, then the next week, then the remainder of the month and so on and so on.  Now I put myself on a 3-day rule for working out, and it is working! I enjoy a good workout, but what I enjoy most is spending time with my husband and daughter. Therefore, I have to make time for it.   

I was listening to a podcast and heard about setting a 3-day rule when you are trying to conquer something new. This idea resonated with me, and I thought I am going to try it out.  That same night, I told my husband I was putting myself on a 3-day workout rule, and I laid out my plans. I scheduled myself to go to the gym at 6 a.m. before my husband leaves for work on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. My reasoning for these days were that Mondays suck, Fridays are fun days and weekends are sacred--haha! I set two alarms and I lay out my gym clothes the night before.  

So far so good. I am amazed at what a difference it has made. The added bonus is I feel great, my husband has joined in on my 3-day rule, and I have more energy. Aside from my 3 gym days, I go on daily walks with Luna and I try to get in at least one yoga session at home (I like this one if Luna wants to join the fun). Sometimes I'll even do an extra at-home workout like this

Of course there are days when I have to give myself a good kick in the butt, and that is when these reminders come in...

I hope my 3-day rule gives you added determination to conquer your health, fitness and any other goals. I know it is easier said than done to get the motivation to begin a fitness routine. Take it from me, I am no fitness buff, I am just a woman who is determined on making positive changes. When it comes to health and fitness there are so many opinions out there. I like it when things are kept simple and straight to the point. Sticking to something for 3-days is as simple as it gets.

Friday Favorites

Friday, March 20, 2015

I am still on a happy high from last weekend.  As I mentioned my husband and I had an overnight stay in downtown Sacramento and my parents were here for a few days. I was in heaven! I got to dance the night away with my husband, and got to enjoy some time with my parents. All the people I love! 

I will admit though this weekend I am looking forward to doing a whole lot of nada. Back to reality--just the three of us. Sometimes having nothing planned is the best. 

Here are some of my favorite things on this fabulous Friday:

Favorite Shoes: DV by Dolce Vita Breelyn Dress Sandals. I tried these on and they felt like butter! Perfect to pair with a spring skirt. 

Favorite Face Serum: Ole Henriksen Truth Serum® Vitamin C Collagen Booster. Lately I have been into face serums, and this is the one I am currently using and loving. 

Favorite Toddler Room Inspiration: Poppy's big girl room. We recently purchased Luna this IKEA Minnen bed. It is a start for when she is ready to transition out of her crib, and I cannot wait to redecorate. 

Favorite Go-To Healthy Meal: Sashimi over a Mixed Greens salad. I absolutely love sushi, but I do not eat rice so I always order sashimi. I recently discovered that I at my local Folsom Whole Foods I can order some mix sashimi at the sushi bar (if available) and prepare my salad while I wait. It is so delicious and healthy! 

Favorite Press-On Nails: Kiss Gel Fantasy ready-to-wear nails. When I have no time to do my nails, these are my little secret. Not anymore because they are too good to keep to myself! I get tons of compliments. I recently went to get a pedicure and the nail lady thought I had my nails professionally done. She was shocked when I told her I put them on myself. If you give them a try, I promise you will get better at putting them on--practice makes perfect!

Favorite Quote: "I want it all, and I would like it delivered. -Bette Midler. This quote instantly made me smile! I am seriously obsessed with delivery services. If I lived in the city instead of a suburb, I would get everything delivered! Hmmmm....good reason to move into San Francisco.  

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

My Family - Spring 2015

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Here are my favorite photos from our recent Spring 2015 family photo session.  I want to hold on to every single wonderful memory...

Thank you Leslie at Green Vintage Photography you rock!! If you are in Northern California check her out she's amazing!

Hope you are all having a fantastic day!

Friday Favorites

Friday, March 13, 2015

I am so excited for this weekend! My parents arrived today which is a treat in and of itself, and it gets even better because my husband and I are getting an overnight hotel staycation. The last time we had an overnight on our own was our babymoon in October 2012! I cannot believe its been that long. All of you who have stand-in babysitters available, BE GRATEFUL!  

In honor of our weekend plans, today's favorites are dedicated to cocktail parties and hotel staycations. 

Favorite getting ready song: Drunk in Love

Favorite Cocktail dress: Anthropologie-Charisma Sheath dress

Favorite overnight travel bag:  Maker & Company-Everyday Waxed Canvas Tote

Favorite Staycation inspiration/idea: Keeping the romance alive and  Cup of Jo-19 Hour Vacation
Favorite Date Night Perfume: Black Orchid Tom Ford

Fantasy Meal: Dinner

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Let's play a game of fantasy meal.  If you could eat whatever you wanted for dinner, what would it be?  Obviously, we would not be concerned with calories or healthiness--only think about pure heavenly flavor. 

My fantasy dinner would go a little something like this:

I would start off with appetizers like truffle fries and melon with prosciutto. A few glasses of Pinot Noir would definitely be consumed. 
Truffle Fries from YardHouse,,Brown

Before my main entree, I would now have an arugula salad. I gravitate towards all arugula salads. I make a simple one at home tossed in olive oil, black pepper, a little sea salt and a dash of lemon. Simply magnifique!

Now time for the irresistible deliciousness of a margherita pizza, preferably wood-fired. And a refill on my Pinot please!.

Lastly, for dessert, I would have a freshly baked crumble or pie (I like mixed berries, apple or raspberry) with a scoop or two of vanilla bean ice cream