Making Adult Friends

Monday, June 3, 2013

I relocated to Northern California four years ago after getting married.  Unless you still live in or near your hometown, you may not understand about my friendship adventures (plus I have no sisters--so that may also explain a lot)!  But really, isn't hard to find friends now that we are adults? Or is it just me? 

After my husband and I got settled here, I started to realize the only person I had to talk to face-to-face was him.  Being the over-analyzer that I am, I would tell him that I felt bad that I was constantly sharing everything with him.  Of course, he would always say he did not mind.

My first friends after my move, are friends that I consider to be friends (they just don't know it!).  I know that sounds bizarre, but as a new blogger what brought me here was my love for my favorite blogs. I read a few of my favorite blogs on a daily basis, and I always refer to them as my friends...only to my husband of course! So I would love to send them a shout out. Thanks for always being there...Cup of Jo, The Little Things We doVery Busy Mama, and Cupcakes and Cashmere.  I swear Joanna from Cup of Jo had me at hello!! I even refer to her as Jo when I talk to my husband which he finds hilarious! I know, poor guy! That's why I need girlfriends.

The funny thing was that in looking for books, I ran into this book MWF-Seeking-BFF-Yearlong-Search, and actually read it! It sounds corny, but it definitely made me realize that in order to find friends as an adult I needed to be more proactive.  

My first attempt at making friends was at work.  It went well, but I still felt that work friends are totally different, than friends you have more in common with as opposed to work talk being our main commonality.  I am still grateful to the few wonderful connections I made at work prior to leaving to be a stay-at-home mom, but I continued on my friendship search.

Next, I signed up for Meet Up.  I had to give this a chance! The first Meet Up I attended was okay, but not great.  It was a women's social/book club for thirty-somethings. I felt like I was in high school all over again.  It was cliquish.  Some woman had brought along friends and they primarily talked to their friend.  Others had previously met so they talked amongst themselves.  I was stuck at the end of the table and I recall there was quite a few awkward silences.  So lets just say I never went back.

After that fail, the idea of finding friends got put on the back burner due to pregnancy.  Its funny, but my brilliant husband would always tell me that once we got settled and had children we would make friends.  Of course when your are not looking it is when everything starts to fall into place.  I ended up signing up for pregnancy yoga and met several nice preggies, but most importantly I made my first real friend in my area.  Things are looking up!

Now that Luna is almost four months, I decided I needed to continue my friend search so that both of us can meet new people! I attended another Meet Up for moms of babies born in 2013 and fell in love with those ladies as well.  We are a new group, but I am looking forward to nurturing some new friendships.  

All-in-all, I have to admit that becoming a mom has aided in my friendship ventures.  Whether your are a mom or not, do not be afraid to put yourself out there and meet new people, or at least allow us out-of-towners to be your friend!! To my hometown friends, I still cherish you, but I had to move on for my own sanity. Hope you understand! I am so happy I am finally making friends in my new life!

I would love to hear your thoughts... 


  1. I agree, it is so hard to make new friends as an adult! I'm so glad you're part of our mom's group! I've also met lots of new people post-college through the Junior League--let me know if you'd ever like to join me at one of their Bunco days or happy hours!

  2. @ Samantha Thank you so much for your post! I am looking forward to hanging out. You'll have to teach me how to play Bunco!