There are so many facets to being a mother. One thing is certain motherhood forces you to adapt.
Since becoming a mom I constantly surprise myself with the depths of my strength, and how quickly I adapt. There are so many things I did not fathom. Who knew I could push out an almost 10 pound beautiful baby. Who knew I could thrive without my family living nearby. Who knew I could summon the patience of a Buddhist monk or who knew I would become this domestic goddess.
In motherhood, the surprises keep coming and adaptability is key. With every milestone they overcome, we surprise ourselves that we overcame them as well. I think being a parent is synonymous with being adaptable.
No matter what season of motherhood you are in, the quicker we learn to adapt the easier it gets.
This past week while we were staying with my parents, Luna gave me a run for my money. Most days she is easygoing and happy-go-lucky, but last week was my first experience with real toddler tantrums. I thought we skated by the terrible twos, but not quite. She will be three in about two months, and I have no idea what is in store for us. I guess with parenting you never know.
I know most moms would never admit this, but some days being a mom can suck. This parenting thing can be so hard. It does not mean I love my daughter any less, it means I love her enough to admit some days I don't know if I am doing it right. I am just trying my best.
I hope even on the days she drives me bonkers, she knows how much I love her. Since we've been home and back to our routine things have been back to normal.
If you all have any tips on dealing with toddler tantrums, I would love to hear them. I recently read this book, and it was really good. I should re-read it now!
I have mentioned the book The Conscious Parent on here, and I always suggest it to other parents. Normally I am a fast reader, but with this one I am taking my time and taking notes. Like a lot of parenting methods and books, I believe knowledge is power and we as parents carry the responsibility to be the best we can be.
Last week it just so happen two of my favorites, Marie Forleo and Dr. Shefali, sat down for a great talk on what parents can do to raise conscious children.
Marie put it best:
Ever feel like you’re no match for your child’s meltdowns or conflicts in your personal relationships? In this video you’ll learn the best ways to practice conscious parenting and how staying centered despite outer chaos can actually be achieved.
Conscious parenting -- and being a conscious human being in all relationships -- takes inner work. This video will teach you some of the best ways to begin cultivating inner awareness and trusting the innate wisdom in yourself and your loved ones.
Dr. Shefali has a lot of good things to say, and even if you do not plan to read her books, here are some great quotes to simmer on.
Lately, I have been pondering on how I am going to be an inspiring parent to Luna. I do not mean how to be a good parent, what I mean is inspire her mind and bring out her talents and passions. It so wonderful when I meet or read about parents whose talents and hobbies inspired their children to become who they are now. For instance, my husband's cousin and his family all play in the church band, including their young son. I think it is amazing. Their son who is about 6 years old plays several instruments, and I can see it in his eyes that his dad's passion is inspiring him to love music, play instruments and enjoy going to church. This made me think about my daughter, and how my husband and I are or are not inspiring our daughter.
I thought what passions, talents or hobbies do I have that will instill a sense of inspiration in our daughter? Well, to be honest, mine are mostly character traits. Such as my perseverance, my strong belief that Love is the answer to everything, my studious-intelligent nature, etc. which I know are great to pass down to her. But I do not play instruments, I do not paint, I do not play sports, I do not sculpt--I basically do do not have a tangible talent/hobby that my daughter can latch onto for inspiration. I am certainly not saying I want her to be just like me or to be into the same things as I am, but I think it is so important that we parents be into something! What are you passionate about? Hobbies/talents? Check out the video below--this young girl sets it straight.
All this thinking brought me back to my upbringing. Both my parents were not into anything really. They were not involved in church, they were not into music, they basically had no hobbies, and I do not recall them ever really loving something (besides my brother and I). I know it is not for lack of talent or passion, but my parents were just trying to survive as immigrants, and their main focus became provide, provide, provide, instill good values, and hope for the best. In all their hard work, my dad did pick up a love for food and cooking, and it is what inspired me to love cooking for my family and be open to try new foods. Though deep down, I wish they would have been given the opportunity to inspire me in other ways. I know they did the best they could, and I still turned out pretty amazing (at least that is what my mom tells me all the time!).
I do not want to go through the motions and have a survivalist parenting mentality. I want to inspire my daughter. So how am I going to do this? Basically, by taking time for myself, and trying out new things until I really find my niche. For now, I will inspire her to love healthy food and cooking, not to be afraid to try new things, my love for the law and books. I will work on my passion for salsa dancing with my husband, French and my writing.
I do not want my daughter to grow up and wonder--Mom what were you really into? What were/are you passionate about? I want he to know my passions, and to actually see me doing them, so she will be inspired to find her own.
