Motherhood: Sustaining Joy

As we all know, being a mom can have its ups and downs, and some days its a struggle to remember who we were before motherhood.  The key to maintaining joy as a parent has nothing to do with our children, and more to do with ourselves. I know this sounds cliché, but it's the truth.  

Here are some things I do to maintain my joy outside of being a mom (and wife):

Get a hobby

A hobby is an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation so it can be anything that brings you joy. My hobbies include running, blogging, wine & champagne tasting and listening to podcasts.

Ask for Help

As a stay-at-home mom, I used to think I did not deserve to get time off, but I soon realized this was not healthy.  I now know my when my breaking point is looming, and I will let my husband know I need help.  

Get Healthy

I make an effort to eat nutritious food and exercise daily.  On the days when I've skipped on the gym or my morning run, I try not to give myself a hard time.  I move onto my next goal which is to accomplish my 10,000 daily steps. 

Plan Me Time

I plan my me time because otherwise weekends come and go, and next thing you know I am feeling a little crazy.  Planning ahead lessens my mom guilt. Plus, it helps my husband know ahead of time, and he can plan to do something fun with Luna. 

I would love to hear what you do to sustain your joy.    

Mindful Monday: Inspiring our Children

Lately, I have been pondering on how I am going to be an inspiring parent to Luna.  I do not mean how to be a good parent, what I mean is inspire her mind and bring out her talents and passions. It so wonderful when I meet or read about parents whose talents and hobbies inspired their children to become who they are now. For instance, my husband's cousin and his family all play in the church band, including their young son. I think it is amazing. Their son who is about 6 years old plays several instruments, and I can see it in his eyes that his dad's passion is inspiring him to love music, play instruments and enjoy going to church. This made me think about my daughter, and how my husband and I are or are not inspiring our daughter. 

I thought what passions, talents or hobbies do I have that will instill a sense of inspiration in our daughter? Well, to be honest, mine are mostly character traits. Such as my perseverance, my strong belief that Love is the answer to everything, my studious-intelligent nature, etc. which I know are great to pass down to her. But I do not play instruments, I do not paint, I do not play sports, I do not sculpt--I basically do do not have a tangible talent/hobby that my daughter can latch onto for inspiration. I am certainly not saying I want her to be just like me or to be into the same things as I am, but I think it is so important that we parents be into something! What are you passionate about? Hobbies/talents? Check out the video below--this young girl sets it straight. 

All this thinking brought me back to my upbringing. Both my parents were not into anything really.  They were not involved in church, they were not into music, they basically had no hobbies, and I do not recall them ever really loving something (besides my  brother and I).  I know it is not for lack of talent or passion, but my parents were just trying to survive as immigrants, and their main focus became provide, provide, provide, instill good values, and hope for the best. In all their hard work, my dad did pick up a love for food and cooking, and it is what inspired me to love cooking for my family and be open to try new foods. Though deep down, I wish they would have been given the opportunity to inspire me in other ways. I know they did the best they could, and I still turned out pretty amazing (at least that is what my mom tells me all the time!).

I do not want to go through the motions and have a survivalist parenting mentality. I want to inspire my daughter. So how am I going to do this? Basically, by taking time for myself, and trying out new things until I really find my niche. For now, I will inspire her to love healthy food and cooking, not to be afraid to try new things, my love for the law and books. I will work on my passion for salsa dancing with my husband, French and my writing. 

I do not want my daughter to grow up and wonder--Mom what were you really into? What were/are you passionate about? I want he to know my passions, and to actually see me doing them, so she will be inspired to find her own.